


For all that Creation is worth

by dogsat4



Series: Nothing without you... [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Amnesia, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Heart Break, I was crying as I wrote this, Longing, Marinette sacrificing her happiness for Adrien, Pining, Regret, Temporary Amnesia, agnst, forget to think about the side, it makes it worse, just listen..., listen to the music, loving from afar, so much agnst, so much crying, so much more crying when you do., so not sorry, straight foreward, teenagers care, thankgod Marinette has her mother, there might be a sequel, they are dense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 22:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6773683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogsat4/pseuds/dogsat4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Creation is nothing without destruction </p><p>Ladybug stops Hawkmoth but...Adrien forgets his life as Chat Noir.</p><p> </p><p>She knew that she would regret this. She already did.</p><p>But she couldn't help but smile when she thought about the Happiness that Adrien would be feeling at this moment finally reunited with his mother.</p><p>Ladybug and Marinette suffers in silence and is torn between the choice she had made to save his life. How long can she continue like this, sitting behind Chat when he doesn't even remember himself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	For all that Creation is worth

**Author's Note:**

> So basically angst. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes but as I wrote this, I cried at the the sad bits.
> 
> Recommended songs to listen to:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5oilF2qhTA  
> (When you see this ~~, Start the song and where it ends should be where the other two are ~~)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQjyVzlZsVE (This should just play in the background as you read the rest of it)

  
Ladybug knew what she had to do, it was something she had once discussed with Tikki but for her final attack to work there would be consequences.

 

Miraculous LadyBug would always fix the damage done by an Akuma but that only used to a certain level of power but this cure, this Purification was designed to purify corrupt Kwmais and then it reversed all the damage done but the problem was that it also affected other Miraculous holders.

 

They would loose their memories and if their item was never found or used again, it would stay that way. Instead of their memories of being heroes the memories would have altered to something mundane instead, something normal.

 

Not only that but the cure would save his life, Ladybug knew that her partner had been poisoned by Hawkmoth with hate and anger. She knew that though every passing interaction with people, he would be in more pain and easily snapped.

 

She had noticed but it was Tikki who had confirmed it.

 

Ladybug knew who was under that mask, she knew who her partner was and she knew that, more than anything, Chat missed his mother.

 

  
After this battle Ladybug would be gone, just a memory that was forgotten or a lost hero. It hurt but it was the best solution.

 

X

 

Ladybug and Chat Noir were blown back and straight into the walls of the Atrium of the Agreste house.

 

They had been wearing Hawkmoth down when he had unleashed one desperate attack.

 

Ladybug looked around, searching for her partner through the carnage. She spotted him, an arm pinned down under the rubble and his Miraculous ring beeping signaling that he would revert soon.

~~ 

 

Ladybug was silently glad that he was pinned down, she wanted to do this herself. She didn't want to see his face when his suspicion would be confirmed. Ladybug also didn't want any lingering feelings of betrayal or hate against his father when he forgot.

 

She could see him struggling to remove the rubble but stopped when he noticed her, that same stupid, silly grin on his face.

 

It faded when he realized that she wasn't moving.

 

"M'lady?" Chat asked hesitantly, internally alarmed at the pained expression on her face.

 

"You've always watched my back. From the very beginning." Ladybug started to speak, tears collecting in her eyes.

 

"You've thrown your life on the line to save me, you've been akumatised, you've been injured, beaten and bruised all to save me." Her voice broke from the emotional pain.

 

"This time..." her body shuddered as she took a deep breath and spoke with conviction.

 

"This time, I'm saving you. Forgive me for what I'm about to do but for all creation is worth, she means nothing without destruction." She spoke with love and wonder and watched his eyes widen as he realized that she knew and that she did love him.

 

"Just as I am nothing without you." She rested her forehead on his as she closed her eyes to delay the tears. Ladybug heard his breath hitch at her declaration.

 

"When you wake to a better world, a brighter one. Live free and be happy but please..." Ladybug's voice broke from her grief.

 

"Please, forget me. Forget Ladybug...please" She was crying as she pulled back and turned to face Hawkmoth, this time on her own.

 

"Ladybug!" Chat called out to her, desperation in his voice.

 

"Ladybug! Please! Whatever you're about to do! Don't! Please!!" The way his voice cracked...It took everything she had to not turn around, to not fall beside him and tell him her true identity.

 

The small pressure in the back of her mind, Tikki reminding her of what she needed to do. Ladybug strode forward and leaped back into the foray.

 

~~

 

X

 

With her lucky charm in her trembling hand, she stared at it with sad eyes before she threw it into the air.

 

"Miraculous Pure!" And even she had to shield her eyes from the brightness as everything was reset back to the way it was.

 

And when the light cleared, everything was back to normal. Gabriel Agreste stood there in befuddlement with his wife standing equally confused by his side and as Ladybug cast her eyes around, Adrien lay unconscious with the ring by his side on the floor.

 

With slow steps towards the boy she loved, each one bringing more tears to her eyes.

 

She gingerly picked up the ring and cradled it before giving a final kiss to Adrien's cheek.

 

This was her goodbye. This would be the last time he would see her as Ladybug and this would be the last time Ladybug would ever see her Chat Noir.

 

"Goodbye, Chat Noir. And thank you, for everything" She whispered to him as her own tears fell.

 

Ladybug turned away from Adrien, scooped up the Butterfly Miraculous before leaving through the small gap in the window.

 

Letting the Agreste family have their own small heart felt reunion without the influence or interference of the Miraculous stones. This was for the best since it was those stones that had broken this family.

 

Ladybug...no, Marinette needed to nurse her own broken heart.

 

X

 

Ladybug stared out at all of Paris from the Eiffel tower and sighed. Her eyes closed quietly in grief.

 

She knew that she would regret this. She already did.

 

But she couldn't help but smile when she thought about the Happiness that Adrien would be feeling at this moment finally reunited with his mother.

 

Her eyes turned to the butterfly shaped broached in her hands.

 

It was time to give this to the Guardian.

 

Ladybug set a look of determination on her face and leapt off the tower and swung through the houses towards the home of the Guardian, she just hoped that he would leave Tikki with her.

 

X

 

The Guardian turned out the be the old man that she had saved on her first day of school.

 

' _Who knew?'_ Marinette smiled wryly at the thought, internally glad that he had left Tikki but at the same time burdened the fact that he didn't take Chat's ring from her. She wasn't even sure she would have been able to give it up.

 

And so it was with a heavy heart that Marinette returned home, giving her parent's strained smiles as she retreated into her room where she could fall apart and put herself back together without anyone seeing.

 

X

 

Marinette had fallen asleep crying and she woke to the feel of hot tears escaping from the corner of her eyes, still chasing the memory of Chat.

 

In her clenched hand was Chat's ring...Adrien's ring, her own reminder of the choice she had made.

 

Marinette let out a breath and before she could stop, a fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes.

 

Tikki rushed to her charge's side and hugged her cheek, doing her best to comfort the heartbroken girl.

 

X

 

That day Marinette did not go to school and neither did Adrien.

 

X X

 

Unknown to Marinette, her parents were well aware of her secret identity and though they could not stop her they did wish to comfort her.

 

It was her silent crying that had sent a stab through Sabine's heart. She had always remembered one lesson that her own mother had taught her.

 

' _When children cry silently, it's not because they want attention from someone, no it's simply because they just can't stop. A grief or sadness so deep that they just can't stop crying...'_ Her mother's voice echoed in her ears, wisened with knowledge and experience.

 

Now isn't the right time to tell her only daughter that both she and Tom knew that she was Ladybug.

 

Now it was the time to let her grieve for whatever choice she had made, for whoever she had lost.

 

And deep down in Sabine's heart, she knew it was Chat Noir, she knew it was Adrien.

 

X X

 

On the second day, Marinette forced herself to go to school. She had arrived on time but barely looked up, so lost in her own thoughts and silently glad for Tikki reassuring presence.

 

And when she walked in, there he was, sitting in the front row like nothing had happened.

 

Even she could tell that Adrien was happier but still it hurt. Marinette turned her face away, she couldn't look at him and see him joking not when she'd lost Chat.

 

Instead, she faced Chloe who opened her mouth as soon as she did but Chloe didn't say a thing, rather she stared at Marinette in shock for a second before she turned away from Marinette.

 

Marinette didn't know what Chloe meant but she was great full all the same.

 

Alya, who had seen how she had reacted to Adrien, didn't say anything she just offered her own quiet show of support with a look and a pat on the seat.

 

Marinette had felt gratitude that her best friend knew not to pry about the pain she knew could easily be seen in her eyes.

 

That day passed like so many others would, in silence and endurance as Marinette dealt with her own heartache of losing her partner, her other half and her best friend.

 

X

 

Marinette had taken down all of Adrien's posters. She couldn't bare to see his face, his eyes or that smile that always hinted something more. 

It just  _hurt_ too much.

 

XXX

 

As the weeks passed, many noticed the difference in Marinette. They noticed the somber sadness that could always be seen in her eyes, they noticed how strained her smiles had become and they noticed that she smiled even less now and whenever she did those smiles were full of sadness.

 

There were some days where Marinette wouldn't show up for school and Alya would bring the morning's homework and when Marinette's best friend returned, those in her class would ask how Marinette was but they would always get a sad shake of the head. They knew she was crying and suffering in silence but they didn't know from what or who had caused it.

 

It was also noticed that Ladybug was becoming more and more scarce as she rarely showed up. And that not once was Chat ever seen.

 

Some thought he had abandoned them, others thought he had retired but when some of the reporters asked Ladybug for his whereabouts, it would always be in the same sad and broken voice.

 

_"He's...not here..."_

 

Chloe noticed the sadness and the heartbreak whenever Marinette look at Adrien, she noticed the looks of regret, sadness and gladness but there would be times when Marinette would look _through_ Adrien, as if seeing someone else in his place.

 

Sabrine noticed the looks of love and longing from Marinette whenever Adrien was in the same room. She wasn't blind to the sadness but the emptiness that she can see Marinette struggling with, scared her. Not only that but Sabrine wanted to help but there was something in Sabrine that told her that this was not something she could even hope to understand let alone, help Marinette. So silent she stayed.

 

Mylene saw the struggle and the love.

 

Alix saw the determination and the regret.

 

Max could see the depth.

 

Kim saw the pressure.

 

Rose saw the defeat.

 

Julka saw the acceptance.

 

Nathaniel saw the understanding.

 

Ivan saw the loneliness.

 

Alya saw the pain.

 

Nino saw the exhaustion.

 

Adrien saw it all but he didn't understand. He desperately wanted to know what had changed his kind-hearted classmate into someone so deep in grief, he simply couldn't understand just as he doesn't understand the reason why he has the phantom feeling of a ring on his finger, just as he doesn't understand the deep sadness whenever he saw the images of Ladybug or the feeling that he is _missing_ something so very important, so very apart of him. He just didn't understand;

 

They all saw but didn't understand but they understood enough to leave her be. No matter how much it hurt them too.

 

XX

 

X

 

Marinette sat in her room as she played with Chat's ring her own mind blank.

 

(Tikki could only look on in sadness, knowing that anything that would be of help would have to come from Marinette's mother. For she was powerless at the moment. )

 

She wanted to give it back to him, just to have Chat, just to have all of Adrien by her side again and not just the side that he shows to the public.

 

She misses his puns, his bad jokes, the flirting and the smiles. Marinette just wanted things to go back the way they were.

 

The more she remembered their days together, the faster her tears came until her vision completely blurred and she was lost in her memories.

 

It was the warm hug of her mother, the feeling of comfort and safety that had her letting out the heart-wrenching sobs she had been keeping in.

 

"I j-just want h-him back!" Marinette cried into her mother's shoulder as her body shuddered with hiccups.

 

Marinette felt her mother's arms tighten around her in response.

 

There was nothing she could do to stop the tears, so she let it all out.

 

All the grief, the regret, the pain, the loneliness, the heartache, the desperation just to see him again, to have things back the way they were.

 

She just cried.

 

X

 

Once her tears had stemmed and her mother had wiped away the ones on her cheek. Marinette felt so tired and empty.

 

"Honey, please tell me what's wrong? Does it have anything to do with Adrien or Chat Noir?" Sabine asked tentatively.

 

Marinette felt the shock echo through her but she just didn't have enough energy to even show it so she just nodded.

 

"He...he doesn't remember me anymore...a-and I miss him. I r-really miss him. I don't want him to remember but at the same time I do!" Marinette explained tearfully.

 

"How come he doesn't remember?" Sabine asked more sure of herself.

 

"The last c-cure that I u-used when we d-defeated Hawkmoth m-made him f-forget. It a-also saved h-him from the p-p-poison that would have s-slowly destroyed h-him from the i-inside out. I-i wanted him to have a h-happy life w-without the M-miraculous s-stones since that was t-the main r-reason w-w-hy his mother v-vanished and t-that was why his f-father became H-hawkmoth.

 

H-he became H-hawkmoth j-just to bring her b-b-back. I just...I just wanted Adrien t-to be happy."

 

"Why does it hurt mama?" Marinette asked brokenly.

 

Sabine smile had a tinge of sadness to it.

 

"It's because you love him sweetie." Sabine stated softly.

 

"Marinette, is there a way for Adrien to remember?" She asked her distraught daughter.

 

There was minute nod in return and Sabine internally sighed at her own child's antics.

 

"Why don't you give him a choice to remember?" Sabine offered her advice and noticed when her daughter immediately stiffened.

 

Marinette slowly looked up, her eyes wide as the implication of what her mother had just said hit her.

 

"...A choice..." She echoed numbly as hope slowly filled her.

 

Sabine smiled encouragingly at Marinette as the energy and life started to return to her face.

 

Marinette stood abruptly as what she would do came to her, her hand clenching around Adrien's ring.

 

"Tikki? Where are you?" Marinette called to the room and in the blink of an eye, the small god appeared from the duvet she had been hiding in.

 

Sabine watched the small creature with surprise.

 

"I'm ready!" Tikki confirmed with a bright smile.

 

"Tikki, Spots on!" Marinette called out before transformed into Ladybug and left to her open roof window.

 

Before she left through it, Ladybug turned to her mother.

 

"Thanks mum, for everything." Sabine just smiled at her daughter before the young superhero disappeared through the window.

 

X

 

Ladybug swung through Paris with new hope blooming through her at the * _chance_ * that she might have her partner back.

 

It was a long shot, that she knew but Ladybug was taking that chance.

 

Shortly after she arrived at the large window of Adrien's room, that one window was still open, almost like it was waiting for her.

 

Ladybug scanned the room from her position on top of the opposite roof. Once satisfied that the room was empty, she swung into the room and landed in a crouch.

 

She walked confidently across the floor towards his desk, there she taped the ring to a blank piece of paper and wrote:

 

_"If you wish to remember, put on this ring."_

 

Ladybug didn't sign it just in case her signature as Ladybug put Adrien under any expectation.

 

She folded the paper neatly like she would put it in an envelope and addressed it.

   To: Adrien

 

With her Job done, Ladybug swiftly left the room and made her way to the Eiffel Tower.

 

If Adrien chose to remember, then they would need a meeting place.

 

Once at 'their spot' on the tower, Ladybug made the call to Chat's baton.

 

"Hi Chat, if you get this then you choose to remember." Ladybug started with a strained smile.

 

"I promise to explain everything, I'll be waiting at our spot on the Eiffel tower at midnight.

 

B-bug out" Ladybug stuttered as she felt the hopelessness of the situation crush her optimism.

 

There was no way that Chat would Not be mad with what she did. No, he would hate her if he chose to remember. Because she took away his choice, at the beginning, she took away his choice.

 

Either way, Ladybug, Marinette would wait.

 

X

 

The first night, he didn't show.

 

No sign on the second.

 

Not a peep on the third.

 

Ladybug started to loose hope on the fourth.

 

Even though her hope was waning, she stayed vigilant on the fifth.

 

Ladybug held out a bit longer on the sixth.

 

She was still waiting on the seventh.

 

Whatever small fragile pieces shattered on the eighth.

 

Marinette wasn't sure why she came on the ninth.

 

Faith was the only thing that kept her coming back on the tenth.

 

The feeling of resignation started to settle on the eleventh.

 

Marinette promised herself three more days on the twelfth.

 

She spent the night torturing herself with the 'What if's on the thirteenth.

 

She regretted on the fourteenth.

 

She wished on the fifteenth.

 

Ladybug was noticed again on the sixteenth.

 

She had promised herself three extra days and even though they had already passed, she still came on the seventeenth.

 

It was on the eighteenth when she heard the familiar footsteps of her partner.

It was on the eighteenth when she heard that familiar nickname that she so missed.

It was on the eighteenth when she heard the first cat pun of the night.

 

At the very sound of _his_  voice had tears cascading down her face, with her hands clapped over her mouth she fought to control the sobs racking her body.

 

"Ladybug?" He questioned uncertainly.

 

It was the uncertainty that made her turn.

 

And when she saw him, her heart stopped at the sight of the familiar black material, at the ears and his _green_ eyes.

 

When he saw her tears and silent crying, his eyes widened in alarm. Instead of taking a step back in shock, he took several forward.

 

And that was all it took for a strangled sob to rip itself out of her throat before she threw herself at him, her arms wrapping themselves around his wide frame as the sobs continued to shake her.

 

"C-c-hat!" She cried as she held on tight.

 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Ladybug repeated as the relief crashed onto her and breaking open the floodgates.

 

"I missed you! I missed your stupid puns and jokes and even the flirting!" Ladybug confessed as Chat held her close and gently ran his arm up and down her back.

 

"I'm back, Marinette, and that's all that matters" Adrien whispered to her and Marinette only cried harder and gripped him tighter, afraid that he would disappear if she let go.

 

"I'm back. I'm here. I'll stay." He repeated, finally feeling content to have that missing piece of his life back in his arms and by his side.

 

Finally, he was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah.....  
> Any questions? Feel free to ask!


End file.
